Disney Friday Week 1--Can You Feel the Love Tonight

~BULLYING~

I haven't written in a while because there really hasn't been much that I've been compelled to say. Well, this has changed this week because of a terrible tragedy back in my home area of Central Illinois. A ten year old girl from the Ridge Farm Community in Vermilion County, IL took her own life because of bullying. Here is the complete story from my old television station if you want to know more...

http://illinoishomepage.net/fulltext/?nxd_id=310257

I didn't know Ashlynn Conner personally, but her grandparents are my Facebook friends and loyal viewers from when I was a meteorologist in Central Illinois. I have been staring at her photo and it has just compelled me to tell my story. We hear more and more these days where kids don't see any other way out because of bullying. I'm not writing this and thinking that bullying will stop because it won't...I'm hoping that what I have to say will help one child that is being bullied to coup with this terrible time.

--People think wow she is on television..she is little...cute ...her life is perfect! Well, this is not all that true...I had to go through some very tough stuff to make me the person that I am today. Growing up is hard on everyone and the same was true for me...especially my sixth and seventh grade years... I had just moved from a different town where I had all my friends that I grew up with...I thought my life was over anyway since I had to move away from all of them. I had NO IDEA how hard it was about to get. The kids at my new school were just cruel making fun of how I had no friends and calling me names. My teacher that year instead of trying to make things easier on me...she made them worse. She would let our row go to the bathroom and I was in the back, so I would always come back last. She would say in front of the whole class, "Was it number 1 or 2 Kalee?" This might seem petty, but to a 11 year old girl who has no friends it is a nightmare. She would make fun of me in front of the class when I would spell a word wrong in my school paper, she would hide my beanie babies that she would allow to sit on our desks and when I didn't notice the whole class would laugh. This was my TEACHER!! In seventh grade, girls in my class would keep a log of what I wore and when I would wear them over again they would make fun of me. This might sound like a movie and not real, but I did get hung up by my overalls in a locker and they shut the door.

I'm not going to continue to rattle off all the terrible things I went through because it is over. I wanted to make a point that I really know what it feels like. I would go home every night and write in my diary about how much I hated going to school. I even asked to be home schooled, but my younger brother wasn't having these problems, so I must be dramatic. It even got so bad that while writing in my journal I held the pen right above my wrist and thought about stabbing myself. I hate even admitting that I got that weak, but it is real life. I was so angry that this was happening to me and I couldn't do ANYTHING about it.

Now 15 years later, I look back and think if I didn't go through that and if I had a cake walk growing up, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. I am proud of myself and that is all that matters...nothing else. There is another factor and many people may not agree, but this is what I whole-heartedly believe. If I didn't have God as a MAJOR presence in my life during that time I wouldn't have made it through the same way. My mom would always tell me in sixth grade that I was a bigger person than her because instead of talking bad about that teacher who made me miserable at school...I would pray for her. I would pray every night before bed, every morning before school, and even at the lunch table. Of course kids would make fun of me here too, but I didn't care.

So, I'm going to wrap this up here...BUT I wanted to share my story and show that I made it out alive! I may not have felt that way then, but I did and I'm stronger and a better person because of it. My parents were also my rock and always backed me up on whatever I said happened at school or just listening. Bullying ISN'T going to go away...It just isn't...So I think we should focus on each child and their family life and the presence of God. You just need to know that life goes on and you will make it through what feels like the worst time in your life because to be honest it doesn't even come close to the worst. Believe in God, yourself, and dream the biggest dream.

I wrote a song in 6th grade that I don't talk about other than with friends and we laugh a lot because now it's funny, but in all reality it isn't that funny because it represents what I was feeling and here are some of the lyrics...

"People think I'm a way out space freak, but I have a sensitive side...

People think that I'm a dreamer, but they can't see through my eyes...

I'm just trying to get through life with what each day hands me...

you can say I'm dull, you can say I'm sweet, but nobody understands me"

The Home Stretch

It's Monday...This means that in less than a week I will be running in the Mercedes Half Marathon. I can't believe it is already here??? I feel like I just made the decision to run this race. I'm very excited, scared, and nervous for Sunday.

I have run the entire half marathon distance....Last Sunday I ran the entire 13.1 miles without walking at all...I was going to blog that day, but I decided to wait because I was in pain...hahaha...I didn't want to blog with a bad attitude. I thought that once I got to 10 miles the rest was a piece of cake...WRONG!!!! The last 2 miles are the worst! I was running with my friend Sebastian and he was keeping track of our distance. I kept saying, "How much more? How much more???" I remember that when I only had .3 of a mile left and it just felt like my entire body was falling apart. I have never had a baby, but I am going to compare the pain my body was feeling to child birth. I didn't think I was going to survive...BUT...as you can see because you are reading this blog I did survive :) I am so glad that I pushed myself to run the 13.1 prior to the race because now I know I can do it! I might feel horrible when it is over, but I can cross that finishline.

I am going to do a video blog pre and post race...So, wish me luck!! The next time you hear from me it will be OVER!!!!

Less than a month away...

Here we go!!!

It is less than a month away from the Mercedes Half Marathon. I've been training since the beginning of November, and I can honestly say that I am going to be ready for this thing! I haven't been the most disciplined runner, but I know I will be able to run the entire thing. I never thought I would ever run 13.1 miles, but I'm excited. Even when I signed up for this run, I didn't think I would actually run the entire thing, but I can!!!

I ran 10 miles a couple of weeks ago...10 STRAIGHT MILES!! I didn't stop at all for a break. I mean once you get passed 6 miles you pretty much can do the whole 13, but you need to go along with your schedule. My lungs were fine after the 10 miles, but man did my knees hurt so bad. They were just sore because I have never run this much in my entire life. The cool thing about running the 10 miles is that as soon as I got done stretching I called everyone I know to tell them what I had just accomplished. haha...I got a lot of why would you even do that! haha...

This past weekend I had to run 7 miles and this sentence actually came out of my mouth. "Good, I only have to run 7 miles today." Really, only 7 miles huh? Didn't ever think that would come out of my mouth. I was sick this week, so my running stopped, but I'm back on schedule starting today.

My run coach Alex Morrow rocks! He has been so helpful in this whole process. He has put together my schedule, talked to me about the weird aches and pains I have, and even set me up with what to wear. Thank you Alex! I want to cross that finish line not only for myself, but for you! I hope to make you proud!

I hope to make a video blog on the day of the race, so I'll put that up. Otherwise, I'll update as we get closer to race day :)

It's Official!!!

Well, I officially registered for the Mercedes Half Marathon in Birmingham, Alabama in February. I waited until now to do it because I wanted to get a month of training in before I committed. I think I can do this, but ever since I paid the money and hit the register button I have been FREAKING out! It is now all real and I am going to have to run 13.1 miles in front on thousands of people. I am getting hives as we speak....

The training process was going very well for a while. I conquered 3-4-5 miles...then I went on vacation back home to Chicago. The day I was suppose to run 6 miles there was 4 to 5 inches of snow...I still was going to try to run outdoors, but I thought that could be a little on the dangerous side. My parents have a treadmill and it used to have a little television in front of it, so you could watch T.V. while walking/jogging. Well, of course the time I need to run 6 miles they move the T.V. into the kitchen and put a MIRROR where the television used to be. Yes, you heard me right a MIRROR. So, I have to look at myself run for what ended up being 3 miles. I can only stare at myself for so long...

The rest of the week was busy with visiting with family and friends around the area, so I didn't run at all. When I got back to Alabama, I had a week where I was trying to get back in the groove of my work schedule and everything, so again I didn't run. This week has been a great week to run, but my dog has been real sick and of course my days were full of her and holiday shopping. Those of you who ventured out this week to shop know that it takes about 3 times as long to do what you need to do. I'm just being honest, but I am little behind on training...I still know I can pull this off. I just need to get back on the horse today. Wish me luck! I will have more updates coming up soon!

One Foot in Front of the Other

Benjamin Franklin once said, "You can do anything you put your mind to..." Take a moment and think about this...Does that mean if I concentrate long enough I could jump from my balcony to the balcony next to mine??? He probably wasn't referring to crazy things like that, but right now running 13.1 miles is falling into the crazy category. I mean I am on day 4 of PRE-TRAINING...haha...and I am up to 3 miles. WOW...I think this is a good start considering you only have 10 more to go...WHAT??? 10 more to go...This is when I start doubting if I can even do this. Now picture this whole paragraph of conversation is going on in my head while I am running the last 100 meters of my 3 mile run yesterday. So, I immediately pick up the phone and call my best friend Mel, who is going to attempt this half marathon with me, and tell her that I just finished three miles and I feel like I got hit by a truck.

....Fast forward to this morning, which I have chosen as my off day. Probably because I woke up this morning with a horrible headache, my muscles were so sore, and honestly I felt like I got hit by a bus. Are you suppose to feel like this? Well, I went to work and during the first 3 hours drank 2 bottles of water. Then miraculously I felt 100% better than I did when I woke up, so whoever says to drink plenty of water while you are running...Well, they mean business!!!

Now...I have been receiving plenty of advice from many folks, which I greatly appreciate, and they are all saying to drink plenty of water and eat healthy....The second part of that statement I am going to have a difficult time with...Come on...How many of you enjoy a #1 Sausage, Egg, & Cheese croissants from Burger King....I know I'm not the only one. I have been eating these delicious sandwiches since I was in the womb...

Another guilty pleasure is I have to have something sweet after not one meal, but EVERY meal. My best friend has 3 kids and she gives them "treats" after they finish their food. Well, I practically lived with them for a year, and that was one of the things that stuck to me as well. I deserve a treat since I ate everything. haha! I am just being honest.

So, I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to have to stop eating some of these things. I went to the grocery store Fresh Market today, and was completely overwhelmed. You are talking to the girl who makes mac n' cheese, turkey sandwiches, lean pockets, etc. I don't cook...So, I was overstimulated...is more like it! Well, I bought fresh produce! YES! I bought some yogurt, celery, raspberries, blackberries, bananas, apples, and granola. I am trying....But to be honest I'm going to eat bad things this weekend right before real training begins. Sorry...

Now, I think I've went on enough, but I have one more thing to say....I am very disappointed in the Birmingham area. They are def. not walker/runner/biker friendly. I feel like I am basically asking to get hit by a car when I go to run because there are like 2 real good trails...I'm just saying I think if you are a city in the south where it is nice more often than not. Then Chicago of all places shouldn't have better running/walking/biking paths than you! It is called the Windy City and it is freezing just about half the year.

Anyway...Enough! I will update soon! Wish me luck as I cross over 3 miles. :)

Running?? REALLY?

First, I want to start off by saying that I obviously haven't got the whole blog thing down yet since I haven't did an entry in over a year....yikes! I am going to try to be better this time around. I guess I didn't feel like what I had to say was important, but now I think that it is because what I might be going through could be what someone else is and I can help them. :)

Now...The title to this blog is "Running?? REALLY??" because I have decided to run in the Birmingham Mercedes Half Marathon.

http://www.mercedesmarathon.com/half-home.php

Let's just say I have always been an active individual, but I have never been one for long distance. When I was growing up running from 1st to 2nd base was good enough...haha! So, this WILL be a challenge....I mean seriously 13.1 miles!!!

Running a half marathon has always been a goal in the back of my head, so I figure that this time in my life is the best time to do it, and it doesn't look like I'm the only one. I have noticed this year that a lot of my friends from high school have decided to run in a half marathon as well. I think it is like a mid-twenties crisis...haha! Seriously, for me this is a way to put energy toward a goal that will overall improve my health and give me a hobby because when you wake up before the rest of the world everyday you find out just how lonely life can be. My life has been consisting of work in the early morning and then movies with my dog Mia for the rest of the day before I go to bed again. WOW! Sounds exciting right...I save a lot of money with this schedule, but I have become so isolated. I'm a very outgoing, friendly person...but I can't stay awake through normal hours to have relationships with others. haha...

So, I got to the point this past weekend where I decided that I have overstayed my welcome on the couch. I need to get up and quit complaining and doing nothing but watching T.V. So, I decided to go run, but this won't last long unless I have something to work towards. So, Here I go...

I will continue to blog through the process because I am literally going from the couch to a 1/2 marathon and I hope that there is someone out there doing the same thing and can relate to what I am about to do. If you have any advice please leave it in the comments!!